90 Day Check Up: No Faith in the 21 Day Rule

I've been blogging  about the live like vacation lifestyle since February and can honestly say, I've hit the 90 day slump.

When they say it takes 21 days to establish a habit.........they are wrong!!!!!
Don't believe it.   It takes months!  

If it only took 21 days, we'd solve all the world's problems thousands of years ago!

Here's my assessment and where I think I began to slide.

1.  Still getting enough sleep?  Self  Score  80%
Weekdays I get to bed by 9:30.  One day I had to cram in some paperwork and stayed up until 11:30.  I just had to get it done or I would not have been able to sleep.  Weekends have not been easy.  They day really flies by and who wants to get to sleep early when you could enjoy two or three more late hours......  Maybe my score should be around 70 or 65.

2.  Is my day systematized?  Self Score  90%
I am giving myself a higher score on this because I do like my routines.  The downfall however is that this is still worker bee stuff and i am locked in busyiness and not seeing any forward movement in work or hobbies.  I seem to be locked in some stagnation.  I feel calmer and more easy going, but would like to be more productive.

3.  Knocking out the unproductive  Self Score 70%
I could do more with my time in the evenings.  I waste a lot of time reading on the internet, short fluffy things like Facebook.

4.  Make your work joyful to yourself and others   Self Score 90%
I like my work days.  I feel less overwhelmed.  I work with my members where they are and try to teach them new things.  I would like to be more creative however.  I could offer more services, but I need to plan it out with some type of system that will still allow for individualized attention.

5. Wiggle Room and Taking Control of My Plate Self Score  90%
 I have wiggle room in my day.  I have taken some things off my plate lately.

6. Domino Effect Self Score  95%
I've resumed more healthy habits that have provided a ripple effect in my day, activities.  The sleep factor has been impactful.  I've been more focused on diet/fitness.
(Future topics in the works here)

7. The Principle of Comfort Zone Inertia  Self Score  60%
Yeah, I show no mercy to myself here.  I want to do more, learn more, be more creative, pursue a spiritual vocation outside of my work in health care.   It's still on the back burner.

I want to develop this blog more.  I haven't unveiled the radical health makeover portion that I have hinted about.  I am experimenting on myself, obviously, the work is ongoing.

My average score is 82%.  Is it a reliable, valid score?  Who know.....but it was fun to look back at the last 90 days.  I would say the last 30 were a bit regressive because I wasn't blogging as often as I did early on.  For that reason I should lower  my score.

So, definitely toss out the 21 day rule.  Keep the focus....daily.

More to come.

I Don't Want Change to Disrupt My Life

Yep, you've heard people say this in a few other creative ways.  You have said it.  I have said it.  A load of people in my practice say it.

I will only make changes that don't disrupt my life too much.

I just changed the radio station in my car from talk and news to classical music.  Whoa!  That's big!  Sure, I like classical music and I liked hearing it again realizing I missed listening to it.  Will it do anything else in my life?  I don't know, let's wait a long time and see.

So, I don't want to drag people down.  We should inspire each other.

But, nothing gets accomplished until you have a real commitment.  This is Step #1.  None of the other steps matter.  Without a sincere promise to yourself, there will be no change.

Change is annoyingly difficult.  We have to fight our comfort zone inertia.  Real change is crummy on the psyche until it is habit, then it is a "new normal" or the new sense of self expression.  It is the Live Like Vacation feeling!

Hey, Lisa, you said baby steps.  Now you're contradicting yourself.  It may sound like I am contradicting myself, however, let's take a baby step and then take a bigger baby set for each next step.

Do you need to renew your sense of commitment, this promise to yourself?
Let's do it.    (Part of the commitment problem may have to do with Step #4.  The unproductive may cloud your true self assessment.)

Who Gets Your Leftovers?

Thought of the day.  Who gets the leftover you?  You know, the exhausted, grumpy, I don't have another giving bone in my body you.

Don't give your family the leftover you.

Live-Like-Vacation!

Keep plugging away at it.  Take small steps.

Live Like Vacation Traits in Action

In my facebook feed I caught an article about Gregg Jarrett's return to the anchor chair after some embarrassing media moments last year. It really is a nice happy ending story to read about when when the news is filled with depressing tragedies.

Understandably, we are only seeing Mr. Jarrett big smile a year later.  We were not privy to the day to day struggles he had to overcome and that he continues to work on.  Living life is a process. He must still go to therapy and meetings.  Every day he is working on his health.

There are some good lessons here we can also relate to:

1.  What you do has a domino effect on others.  For Mr. Jarrett he was impacting his family in a negative manner for a while.  Now, he is going in the other direction.  His boss, Roger Ailes made some sacrifices himself as he stood by his employee and stayed with him during every step of his trials.  His actions, also had a domino effect on Mr. Jarrett, as well.  And Mr. Jarrett very graciously acknowledges Mr. Ailes commitment.  We can make our work joyful to ourselves and others.  Recognize Step #5 here?

2.  Your everyday health and long term health both need good daily habits.  You cannot put your health on autopilot.  You can never take your health for granted.  As a health care practitioner I must stress that the body works very profoundly balancing important metabolic processes.  While things seem to work automatically and your body bounces back pretty well after a splurge at the donut shop, nights drinking with friends, or weeks of staying up until 1 AM, the body will eventually buckle under the stress.  Mr. Jarrett demonstrates this and he is working hard on his daily habits.  Step #2 is here.

I'll let him tell you his side of the story here.  

Does Step #3 Drive You Crazy?

Just wondering.

Because there are moments in my day when I feel like I am a robot getting things done that are so mundane.

That's step 3.

Here's a recap of the steps so far. (I introduced them in this prior post.)

1. Make a commitment to the Live-Like-Vacation  Lifestyle
2. Sleep at the same time every night
3. Systematize your daily activities/chores so they are out of the way, (then you will have more room for the bigger activities)

Here's #4 and #5 just FYI:
4. Knock out of your life the things that are unproductive
5. Make your work joyful for yourself and others

And then, coming soon, as I work through my LLV progress, I will add in steps that address financial wellness.

Can Step #3 be a real drain?
I believe the answer is "yes."  This is something we have to make peace with.
I can wake up and stroll into the kitchen and say to myself, here I am again making coffee, making breakfast, feeding the cats...

Day in an day out these chores are here waiting to get done.  Paying the bills, taking out the trash, laundry, etc.  What is there to feel good about?  It's drudgery.

But if you can systematize it.....Oh, boy.  That's another chore.

Well, if I go about it willy-nilly, I forget something like making son's lunch.  Then I have to scramble to get that done before he's late for school.  So, a system will prevent scrambling.

I do not like scrambling.  This is what makes me so grumpy in the first place wondering when I can have my next vacation.

Scrambling is what makes my practice members call me up in a panic because they need to get adjusted as soon as they can because all their stress sneaked up on them.

I also tend to scramble when I am at work.  I have to type up a notice for someone.  I have to get a claim ready to mail.  I have to be productive in between appointments before it's time to pick up son from school.  I have to set aside time to eat lunch before my brain crashes next to my feet.

I have to systematize my work day so I can be more attentive to my practice members when they need me the most.

You, whoever you are, need to systematize your work day so you can be your best for your customers, clients, students, and co-workers.  We deserve it from each other.

So, the daily chores go smoothly and give you more time for the important things, or we can just feel as if we are drowning in the annoyance of chores.

I guess we can look back at #1.  The commitment makes a difference in our mind-set.  We know there is a greater reward when the small details are worked out.

And then I will throw in #2.  An authentically restful sleep routine makes us much more efficient, and we can feel as if this part of our day is effortless and a warm up for the rest.

Get warmed up for the rest of the day.

How do you use Step #3 to your advantage.  Please share in the comments section.

Also, in a future post I will discuss the second part of step #3.  You see that part that is written in parentheses.  What are the bigger activities of the LLV lifestyle?

Good question......  See you soon.  

The Problem of the Plate

Do you do so many things in one day that you are not feeling accomplished?  Do you just get by with a feeling of exhaustion as you run from one task to the next?

Are you cramming so much into your day that you make mistakes that are regretful?

Do you put out many fires in a life of chaos?

This is the theory of the plate.  You can keep pushing more things on to the plate until something on the other side slides off.  Just like the song On Top of Old Smokey, That meatball falls right on to the floor.

The saying is "I've got too much on my plate."  And we sure do not want things to fall off, like our precious relationships.

We can push things aside.  We can push aside things that take up too much time.  We don't want to push aside our family.

It's easy to say no to some things. I don't have time to attend every event I am invited to.  Many things just can't be done while I have a young child.  It's hard to say no to some people who really twist your arm about volunteering for something that you don't have time for, but it has to be done.

Some people may ask too much of you.  They want to be on your plate.
Be very careful.  You can't put it all on your plate.

Some people want to take control of your plate!   Ugh!

You can't live like vacation when your plate is ridiculously full.

If there are activities that make you feel grumpy, take a serious inventory and drop the ones that need to go.  If you argue with yourself about it, that's a sign that your life is too out of control.  If others will be disappointed....are you sure?  Or are you making that up in your mind?

It's a lot to think about but well worth it to decutter your life and slow down.

WHO LIVES FOR THE WEEKEND?

I do.  It's a big deal to me.  As a small business owner, I only close when there is a national holiday and of course the weekends.

Then I try to cram in chores and errands.  (Not always, and not happily)
Then there is a school activity or local event.  The day is done.  Then Sunday comes around and that day goes by sooooo fast.   Then the weekend's over.  Who's tired and resentful?

Who doesn't get Authentically Restful Sleep on the weekend because they break their Authentically Restful Sleep Routine.  ???????

One Month Progress Report

It hasn't been quite a month yet, but we did leave for vacation Feb. 20th, and today is March 20th.  Once I completed the 2 week pre-vacation preparations, I was ready to start our trip to Florida.

I have made a small dent in my procrastination since I returned as this was a goal of mine.  To live like vacation, I wanted to do more than get through each day.  I want to add new approaches to my business and I want my home life to be more relaxed, yet accomplished, rather than a home being a drop off point where I just lay around in exhaustion with no real motivation to do things besides, well, lay around.  (How'd you like that wild run on sentence.  That run on sentence is an example of the run on life.  This is so funny I am not changing it.  Nope. No editing. )

My mind was generally in "sit and mope" mood, and usually in front of Facebook.  What a waste of time.  I used to tell myself I was resting, then the hours flew by.  Like I said.  What a waste.

More on this later......I have to get ready for the day.

***********I'm back **************

The day is over.  Work was steady and lunch was at 3:20!  But it was not the brain drain I usually feel.  I didn't let myself get worked up.  I took the break when it came up and I was ready for the rest of my afternoon.

I am going to bed by 9:30 tonight.  I am sticking to the sleep routine.  It has proven to be a smart change.  I had my relapse and, wow, what a difference.

And, another observation:  When I eat carbs or sugar, my sleep is disrupted as well.  So, diet and sleep are your two very important partners in the Live Like Vacation Mind-Set.  In fact, they are baseline.

I haven't done any real recreational things that are "vacation like" or renewing.  That is one criticism I have for myself.  I could blame the weather.  But I can't change the weather.

Another criticism:  I didn't exercise enough in the last 2 weeks.

Your Live Like Vacation plan doesn't have to be exactly like mine, but you have to decide what goals matter to you.

What things do you want to get away from when you go on vacation?
Work chaos?
Disruptions?
Family fighting?
Everything in the house that's broken?

What are your favorite things about vacation?
Ahhhhh......Sleep,....quiet.......leisure activities.......someone else cooking for you.........

Keep it a work in progress. But feel good as you do it.

When Time is Redefined

Paul Kalanithi died March 9, 2015 at the age of 37.  He was a neurosurgeon with a newborn baby.  He wrote an essay and remarked how time is viewed at different parts of a person's life.

He noted how 6 years of residency flew by until he was sick.  His days were long and he didn't have time to notice how exhausted he was while he was immensely focused on his patients.

Then, spending more time at home to rest, the sense of time is changed.  Time is meaningless when your entire day is spent making it to one doctor's appointment or getting the simplest of chores completed.  The things of his past were no longer important to him.  While he was between the last remission and the next relapse, his idea of time was just to be.

In church today, our priest brought up this man's story as he explained how we become so engrossed in our days we do not take into consideration we must look at ourselves in a certain way when our time has run out.

When we introduce ourselves to strangers, we break the ice by talking about what we do.  We are our occupation whether we are students, professionals, stay at home parents.  We focus on what we do  and how we are identified by our means of bringing home a paycheck or supporting our families.

But, when we are before God right after our death, how do we describe ourselves to God?  The worldly vocabulary of work and status are worthless and trivial.

God wants to know if we were devoted to him and if we helped bring peace of mind and comfort to others in tribute to him.

But we must find balance in the world because this is where we are for now. We can use the world's resources to accomplish wonderful things for God.

In our quest to live-like-vacation, we are not looking to be absent from the world, but we want to have some type of simplified life in order to accomplish things that have a higher ideal.

We are called to follow a purpose in life.  The principles that help us live like vacation give us the perspective and ability to stay focused on that purpose.

How have you enhanced or modified your perspective in your world?
How has your purposed been transformed during your life?

Read Dr. Kalanithi's essay: Before I Go