90 Day Check Up: No Faith in the 21 Day Rule

I've been blogging  about the live like vacation lifestyle since February and can honestly say, I've hit the 90 day slump.

When they say it takes 21 days to establish a habit.........they are wrong!!!!!
Don't believe it.   It takes months!  

If it only took 21 days, we'd solve all the world's problems thousands of years ago!

Here's my assessment and where I think I began to slide.

1.  Still getting enough sleep?  Self  Score  80%
Weekdays I get to bed by 9:30.  One day I had to cram in some paperwork and stayed up until 11:30.  I just had to get it done or I would not have been able to sleep.  Weekends have not been easy.  They day really flies by and who wants to get to sleep early when you could enjoy two or three more late hours......  Maybe my score should be around 70 or 65.

2.  Is my day systematized?  Self Score  90%
I am giving myself a higher score on this because I do like my routines.  The downfall however is that this is still worker bee stuff and i am locked in busyiness and not seeing any forward movement in work or hobbies.  I seem to be locked in some stagnation.  I feel calmer and more easy going, but would like to be more productive.

3.  Knocking out the unproductive  Self Score 70%
I could do more with my time in the evenings.  I waste a lot of time reading on the internet, short fluffy things like Facebook.

4.  Make your work joyful to yourself and others   Self Score 90%
I like my work days.  I feel less overwhelmed.  I work with my members where they are and try to teach them new things.  I would like to be more creative however.  I could offer more services, but I need to plan it out with some type of system that will still allow for individualized attention.

5. Wiggle Room and Taking Control of My Plate Self Score  90%
 I have wiggle room in my day.  I have taken some things off my plate lately.

6. Domino Effect Self Score  95%
I've resumed more healthy habits that have provided a ripple effect in my day, activities.  The sleep factor has been impactful.  I've been more focused on diet/fitness.
(Future topics in the works here)

7. The Principle of Comfort Zone Inertia  Self Score  60%
Yeah, I show no mercy to myself here.  I want to do more, learn more, be more creative, pursue a spiritual vocation outside of my work in health care.   It's still on the back burner.

I want to develop this blog more.  I haven't unveiled the radical health makeover portion that I have hinted about.  I am experimenting on myself, obviously, the work is ongoing.

My average score is 82%.  Is it a reliable, valid score?  Who know.....but it was fun to look back at the last 90 days.  I would say the last 30 were a bit regressive because I wasn't blogging as often as I did early on.  For that reason I should lower  my score.

So, definitely toss out the 21 day rule.  Keep the focus....daily.

More to come.

What Does It Mean to Live Like Vacation?

What is it to live like vacation?

Well, I'm not one to rule anyone's life, but it is a choice to live like vacation.

If you want to face each moment of your day with enjoyment and peace, even if parts of that day includes work and chores, you are living like vacation.

Living like vacation means you maintain the vacation feel during your regular life.  You find meaning in everything you do.  You work efficiently with forward moving goals to prevent stagnation, and yet you find enough downtime to give yourself  more energy to jump back into your goals.

I Don't Want Change to Disrupt My Life

Yep, you've heard people say this in a few other creative ways.  You have said it.  I have said it.  A load of people in my practice say it.

I will only make changes that don't disrupt my life too much.

I just changed the radio station in my car from talk and news to classical music.  Whoa!  That's big!  Sure, I like classical music and I liked hearing it again realizing I missed listening to it.  Will it do anything else in my life?  I don't know, let's wait a long time and see.

So, I don't want to drag people down.  We should inspire each other.

But, nothing gets accomplished until you have a real commitment.  This is Step #1.  None of the other steps matter.  Without a sincere promise to yourself, there will be no change.

Change is annoyingly difficult.  We have to fight our comfort zone inertia.  Real change is crummy on the psyche until it is habit, then it is a "new normal" or the new sense of self expression.  It is the Live Like Vacation feeling!

Hey, Lisa, you said baby steps.  Now you're contradicting yourself.  It may sound like I am contradicting myself, however, let's take a baby step and then take a bigger baby set for each next step.

Do you need to renew your sense of commitment, this promise to yourself?
Let's do it.    (Part of the commitment problem may have to do with Step #4.  The unproductive may cloud your true self assessment.)

Control the World or Inspire the World

This is Holy Week and I'm getting some good pearls of wisdom listening to the radio.  I am listening to Relevant Radio.  I just heard a profound message from Dr. Ray Benedetto.

His entire segment was profound because this is the first time I heard of him.  He promotes character based capitalism, which is something the public probably has a hard time believing can exist.

He talked about "trying to control the world," which we know deep down is a rotten idea, yet we still try to do it.  In our own "I can do it better" selves we insist we can control part of something.

We are control freaks.  How do you know?  When you have a melt down.  The melt down is a sure sign of your controlling self.

If we want to live like vacation, we do need to pare down our lives and follow step #4: Knock out the unproductive.

We also need to use the principle of wiggle room.

Also there is one "control factor" that helps you return your life back to you, when we tend to pile our lives full with what other people want.  This is the principle of taking control of your plate.

So, this sounds as if I am contradicting myself, but there is a part of control that is actually a self discipline.  The principle of taking control of your plate is about not overloading your schedule.  It is about prioritizing and not taking on things that are going to be harmful to you and your family because over scheduling is unhealthy.

So, let's get back to the question of the day. Living like vacation means we are not escaping life but enriching our daily lives.

While you are involved in the world, are you trying to control the world or inspire the world?

30 Days Ago I Started a Blog

30 days ago I wrote about my vacation wake up call.

As soon as I came back from a very rare opportunity to visit a warmer climate and have a full week off with nothing on my mind, I resorted back to an insane life.

That's slightly exagerated.  It was not totally insane but as soon as I got off the plane I was back to my hyperactive self.  As soon as the phone began to ring I was unraveling my calm brain trying to bend over backwards for who?  Myself I guess because I am generally an over-pleaser.  Then, I was completely exhausted the next day.

Enough of my complaining.  I saw such a dramatic change between the vacation me and the back to normal life me, I had to reclaim the vacation me and incorporate the vacation me into the everyday life.  I wanted to make daily living more than checking of a to do list and being the family taxi service.

I want to live like vacation.

That does not mean sit on the beach homeschooling my child and working some amazing home business that provide barrels of cash to my bank account.  That could be in the future, but does not sound realistic to me.

Right now I am taking small baby steps at living a less scrambled life that has more calm so I can be a better health care practitioner for my practice members and have enough energy left to be a fun mom and wife.

So, here I already see my big fault here.  I need to be an awesome wife and mother first.  Then, have some left over energy for my private practice.  How did I get so brainwashed?

Time to get un-brain-washed and live like vacation.

Yes, things need to get done.  I have to raise a young boy and help him become a decent grown up.  Yes, we have bills to pay so we are not a burden to others.  Yes, hubby and I need to have a life together that doesn't include work, bills, repairs, errands, babysitting, etc.

So a mind shift took place because I saw the different side of me while I was on vacation.  And I saw that side of me lost suddenly back in the weeds.

So, the mind-set shift continues.
The habits change.  In ways this is becoming a health makeover although I have not noted too much of that since the blog began.

Based on the principle of the domino effect.  Good habits have a ripple effect in multiple areas of life.

Anything that helps you reclaim your energy gives you better mileage.  So, these initial baby-steps are leading to other goals that are more far reaching than getting everyone out the door on time.

So buckle up and enjoy the ride with me.

Live Like Vacation Traits in Action

In my facebook feed I caught an article about Gregg Jarrett's return to the anchor chair after some embarrassing media moments last year. It really is a nice happy ending story to read about when when the news is filled with depressing tragedies.

Understandably, we are only seeing Mr. Jarrett big smile a year later.  We were not privy to the day to day struggles he had to overcome and that he continues to work on.  Living life is a process. He must still go to therapy and meetings.  Every day he is working on his health.

There are some good lessons here we can also relate to:

1.  What you do has a domino effect on others.  For Mr. Jarrett he was impacting his family in a negative manner for a while.  Now, he is going in the other direction.  His boss, Roger Ailes made some sacrifices himself as he stood by his employee and stayed with him during every step of his trials.  His actions, also had a domino effect on Mr. Jarrett, as well.  And Mr. Jarrett very graciously acknowledges Mr. Ailes commitment.  We can make our work joyful to ourselves and others.  Recognize Step #5 here?

2.  Your everyday health and long term health both need good daily habits.  You cannot put your health on autopilot.  You can never take your health for granted.  As a health care practitioner I must stress that the body works very profoundly balancing important metabolic processes.  While things seem to work automatically and your body bounces back pretty well after a splurge at the donut shop, nights drinking with friends, or weeks of staying up until 1 AM, the body will eventually buckle under the stress.  Mr. Jarrett demonstrates this and he is working hard on his daily habits.  Step #2 is here.

I'll let him tell you his side of the story here.  

Weekends Are Made for Nothing

Okay, disclaimer here:  I know not everyone gets the weekend off.  Many workers get their time off during the week.  Many people work more than one job.  I remember those days when I did it, too.  I would have to fight tooth and nail to request time off on holidays so I could travel to my parents' house to actually spend time with family.

And most of the time our society has regulated the work week to forty hours providing extra compensation for the necessary overtime and folks have two days off each week.  Sometimes.....  I guess that's why I have a Live Like Vacation Blog.  Life has become complicated and we forgot how to rest.

Back to my topic:

Weekends are made for nothing.  Well, I just laughed out loud at myself typing this.  Saturday just went by and I complained all day to myself that this was the pits.

Thinking back to my week in Florida, we focused on nothing.  Our minds were clear of multitasking thoughts.  We sat around much of the time and we made spur of the moment decisions when we wanted to do something.

That doesn't seem to happen on the weekends.
Grr.....I'm still working on it.  I guess I have to tweak this and that's the point of the blog.  I can write about it here and make changes in my schedule.

Every weekend we do the major shopping trip.  I used to like it.  But. .. Here's a secret. I like going alone.  I like getting lost in my own little world of browsing and looking at new items I might want to try.  But Hubby and I have different likes and he is so much better at picking out meat and comparing meat prices.

Shopping is part of the errand/chore routine that occupies people's time off.  Then there is the lawn, yard work, and the extra cleaning to get the dust balls that we walked by all week in the hallway.  You know what I mean.

And son plays a sport.  Right now it's only one sport, whew.  I don't know what else he is interested in at this point, but we do CYO basketball and all the games are on Sunday.  Of course that's perfect.  An hour or so after church he plays a game and Sunday is the best time of the week.

And then there's the Sabbath practice.  We are commanded by God to keep holy the Sabbath.  We tend to get a little fuzzy on that when he cram so much in the weekend.

Since I am Catholic, I will refer to the catechism because it truly reflects the genius of God's commandment.  And, well, God knows what he's doing and it clearly makes sense as to what our needs are.

I pasted the section below and put it in bold.  Here are some quick bullet points:
1. The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and Hallowed it:  So should we.
2. There is an irrevocable covenant with Israel regarding the release from bondage in Eygpt and God's trust that we would honor it.
3. Even God rested and was refreshed so what an important example it is for us. Should we be completely exhausted and wiped out during the time of rest, or should we look forward to it as a time of joyful reflection and recreation?
4. Christ declares the Sabbath for doing good, rather than harm. Do we sometimes warp the idea of "doing good?"  Do we over-do activities as we try to finish our work?  I admit, my work creeps in to the weekend and robs me of a fuller Sabbath.  It seems as if the Sabbath gets the minimum.

ARTICLE 3
THE THIRD COMMANDMENT

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work.⁹⁰The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath; so the Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath.⁹¹

* I. THE SABBATH DAY

2168 The third commandment of the Decalogue recalls the holiness of the sabbath: "The seventh day is a sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the LORD."⁹²

2169 In speaking of the sabbath Scripture recalls creation: "For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it."⁹³

2170 Scripture also reveals in the Lord's day a memorial of Israel's liberation from bondage in Egypt: "You shall remember that you were a servant in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out thence with mighty hand and outstretched arm; therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day."⁹⁴

2171 God entrusted the sabbath to Israel to keep as a sign of the irrevocable covenant.⁹⁵ The sabbath is for the Lord, holy and set apart for the praise of God, his work of creation, and his saving actions on behalf of Israel.

2172 God's action is the model for human action. If God "rested and was refreshed" on the seventh day, man too ought to "rest" and should let others, especially the poor, "be refreshed."⁹⁶ The sabbath brings everyday work to a halt and provides a respite. It is a day of protest against the servitude of work and the worship of money.⁹⁷

2173 The Gospel reports many incidents when Jesus was accused of violating the sabbath law. But Jesus never fails to respect the holiness of this day.⁹⁸ He gives this law its authentic and authoritative interpretation: "The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath."⁹⁹ With compassion, Christ declares the sabbath for doing good rather than harm, for saving life rather than killing.¹⁰⁰ The sabbath is the day of the Lord of mercies and a day to honor God.¹⁰¹ "The Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath."¹⁰²

^{And a little farther down in the catechism this common sense practice is reiterated. Some very devout Christians will not even shop or go out on the Sabbath day because that forces others to also work.}

2184 Just as God "rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had done,"¹²¹ human life has a rhythm of work and rest. The institution of the Lord's Day helps everyone enjoy adequate rest and leisure to cultivate their familial, cultural, social, and religious lives.¹²²

In short, the weekends should be made for nothing that distracts us from what is important in the bigger picture of life.  This idea can change or inspire how to conduct ourselves during our time off.

Again, this is another reminder that we can do all our work and play in a mindless manner, or we can be mindful.

When Time is Redefined

Paul Kalanithi died March 9, 2015 at the age of 37.  He was a neurosurgeon with a newborn baby.  He wrote an essay and remarked how time is viewed at different parts of a person's life.

He noted how 6 years of residency flew by until he was sick.  His days were long and he didn't have time to notice how exhausted he was while he was immensely focused on his patients.

Then, spending more time at home to rest, the sense of time is changed.  Time is meaningless when your entire day is spent making it to one doctor's appointment or getting the simplest of chores completed.  The things of his past were no longer important to him.  While he was between the last remission and the next relapse, his idea of time was just to be.

In church today, our priest brought up this man's story as he explained how we become so engrossed in our days we do not take into consideration we must look at ourselves in a certain way when our time has run out.

When we introduce ourselves to strangers, we break the ice by talking about what we do.  We are our occupation whether we are students, professionals, stay at home parents.  We focus on what we do  and how we are identified by our means of bringing home a paycheck or supporting our families.

But, when we are before God right after our death, how do we describe ourselves to God?  The worldly vocabulary of work and status are worthless and trivial.

God wants to know if we were devoted to him and if we helped bring peace of mind and comfort to others in tribute to him.

But we must find balance in the world because this is where we are for now. We can use the world's resources to accomplish wonderful things for God.

In our quest to live-like-vacation, we are not looking to be absent from the world, but we want to have some type of simplified life in order to accomplish things that have a higher ideal.

We are called to follow a purpose in life.  The principles that help us live like vacation give us the perspective and ability to stay focused on that purpose.

How have you enhanced or modified your perspective in your world?
How has your purposed been transformed during your life?

Read Dr. Kalanithi's essay: Before I Go